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Local council hails ‘Posh Booze Empties’ recycling scheme
An initiative announced by Kingston Borough council today promises to relieve thousands of hard-working recession-hit families from the shame of putting out budget-brand alcohol containers in their...
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Literary historian discovers Lewis Carroll sequel, ‘Alice in Sunderland’
An academic at the University of Lancaster has uncovered a previously unheard of follow-up to Lewis Carroll’s acclaimed Alice series of children’s novels, this time set in the North East of England....
View ArticleBinge drinking MPs could face curfew and travel ban
The unacceptable face of Parliamentary Hooliganism reared its ugly head again yesterday, with booze fuelled rival factions clashing in a House of Commons bar. Police say there was one arrest and at...
View ArticleBinge drinkers react angrily to increased cost of Binge
The government is proposing to introduce a minimum price of 40 pence per unit of the popular alcoholic beverage Binge in an attempt to encourage responsible drinking. Binge drinking, now said to be out...
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Britain apologises for trying to get into wrong house after New Year bender
Britain has been forced to issue an apology today for drunkenly trying to get into France by mistake after a heavy night out celebrating on New Year’s Eve. The country had been out since early...
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Police vow crackdown on Jane Austen ‘coquette’ culture
Surrey police have embarked on an ambitious campaign to try to curb the rising phenomenon of anti-social incidents involving young women emulating behaviour they’ve picked up from the novels of Jane...
View ArticleTeenage girls ‘too ghastly to fantasise about’, complain ageing pervs
Britain faces a new crisis as a result of the so-called ‘ladette’ culture. For, according to a study of men in their 40s and 50s, the nation’s teenage girls are all such grotty, pie-scoffing munters...
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